Friday, September 29

Back on the bike after almost two weeks. Rode to work then did the Critical Mass ride. I could only ride for a half-hour, but it was a glorious half-hour. Plenty of angry motorists and pedestrians.

Wednesday, September 27

Success

Tuesday, September 26

Yes, as I mentioned, I expect to take delivery on a brand new bike tire any day now.

Monday, September 25

Bicycle? What bicycle? My bicycle is down in the basement with the rear wheel off. I'm expecting to take delivery on a new tire any day now. But it has been really nice to be able to take the train to work - the cramped trolly cars are fun. It's nice to be able to take my time, and smell the roses, as it were, to really appreciate the beauty around me. For example, I saw these flying porto-potties today near my place of employment. It's not often that you see a gigantic crane swinging a few porto-potties around 50 feet off the ground. If I had been riding the bike, I might have missed this.

Monday, September 18 Lance Armstrong's Birthday

Jeez, this tire business is starting to lose some of its charm. As Bob Marley said, "My feet is my only carriage." My feet and the MBTA Green Line, that is. I went on field trip Saturday to get a new tire and wound up at International Bike in Allston. I bought a Bontrager hard case with triple puncture protection. Yes, friends, Triple Puncture Protection.

Anyway, I'm going to try to make this short - I couldn't get the bead of the tire on the rim no matter what I tried. It was almost like the tire was too big for the wheel. It was just sitting over the tube like a hat. Then I started wondering what would happen if I just inflated the tube with the tire just sitting over it - you know, just to see what would happen - not like I'd ride with it that way or anything. I was thinking it might hold the tire in place and that it might be interesting, and then I'd get back to putting the tire on. So I started pumping up the tube and, much to my surprise, it exploded.

Thursday, September 14 - "Hosed"

What a sad story to tell. Here I am back on the Vespa, doing my Travis Bickle imitation (or Colonel Bill Kilgore) with the Randolph Aviators. I got another flat last night about two blocks from home. Luckily I had a fresh tube and I resolved that I would fly through the procedure this time.

I donned my leather work gloves, picked up my tire levers and gouged away. I had that tire disemboweled in no time. And when I say "in no time", I mean at least 45 minutes.

Then I got all Blair Witch Project on it - I donned my head lamp and reading glasses and gave that tire a thorough tire-oscopy.

You see, I was very suspicious - this was the second flat in a week and I thought there might be something in the tire that was causing the tube punctures. And when I say "I thought there might be something in the tire", I mean that I read on the side of the tube box that I should check the tire for foreign objects or punctures - a step I failed to take the first time.

Well, friends I found the problem - a small slit in the tire itself. So, I'm temporarily off the bike till I can devote another ten hours and five layers of skin toward fixing this.

Tuesday, September 12

Beautiful morning. Beautiful day for a ride behind the trash truck.

Friday, September 8

Another great September morning - 67 degrees, hazy sun. I haven't tangled with the Mother Of All Intersections lately so I took a spin up that way. It looks kind of tame in the photo, but it ain't.

I had to return to my most unfavorite bike shop last night to return one of the two tubes I purchased. The first one I put on had a small hole in it. Well let me tell you, they took that tube back and handed over another one right quick. No arguments or anything.

They guy asked if I had been using any tools to get it on the wheel, and I told him no. I said "No, I just gently laid the tube inside the tire, and gently got one bead of the tire on, and gently put a little air in it, and gently (I kept repeating "gently" to distract him from that fact that my tube re-installation method was not quite correct) listened and heard a gentle 'sssssssssssssssssss', and I gently swore." I'm sure that repeating "gently" over and over conjured up the real picture of what happened: me with the leather work gloves on, cursing and swearing as I gouged away with the plastic tire levers, hot tears of frustration rolling down my bike-grease covered cheeks, while my children whispered nervously to mommy "Is daddy laughing or crying?".

Anyway, the bike shop has definitely come up a notch in my book even if they didn't know the average weight of a Maine beaver.

Thursday, September 7

Beautiful ride in this morning - 68 degrees and sunny.

As you can see, I triumphed over the "Ordeal of the Orb" (as Charlotte Haze calls it). I was able to replace the rear tube in 1.25 hours - a record for me. My thumbs (critical tools for tube/tire replacement, as my friend JW notes) were only moderately sore after the procedure.

Unfortunately, I had to get the tube at a bike shop that I really don't like. I won't name the place, but every time I go in there and ask them a question, they don't know the answer. They hem and haw, and say "I don't really know, Dude." It's infuriating. Take last night, for example. I go in to buy a tube, and I say "What's the average weight of a Maine beaver." And the guy gives me this blank look and tells me he doesn't know. I don't know about you, but I think that if you work in a bike shop you should be able to answer the customer's questions.

Wednesday, September 5

Friends, the mailbag has been full to overflowing recently with questions regarding the bracelet pictured on my left wrist. It does indeed say "DESPAIR". It's the perfect antidote to the ubiquitous cheery yellow LIVESTRONG band. Don't get me wrong; I don't look askance at the sentiment or anything else that's behind Big Yellow, and Lance Armstrong. I just found the dull-gray band with it's dour message very appealing. It's the perfect accessory for biking through Kenmore Square during a snow storm on a February evening.

Speaking of biking, I didn't ride today. The innertube with the slow leak that I have been nursing along for a month finally wheezed out its last 120psi of breath, never to be filled again. If all goes well this evening, I should be back in the saddle in the morning.